Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize