Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize