Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
