I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i came on her dog
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
