gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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