It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
