Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
