Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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