it's like iHOP with fire
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
