I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
