Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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