I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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