I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
