Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
