i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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