i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
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He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
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Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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