apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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