??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
