Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
