Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
