I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
