woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
