I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
there is glitter all over my balls
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