Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

She was lying the whole time!

(310): View more from California

She was a great actress

(248): View more from Michigan

I was a great dumbass

Fav 2 1225 1538
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.

Fav 14 5080 942
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(507): View more from Minnesota

Redeem this text for a blowjob

Fav 46 19152 1399
share tweet
(540): View more from Virginia

he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride

Fav 34 21250 2189
share tweet
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.

Fav 16 5469 1448
share tweet
(404): View more from Georgia

He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?

Fav 20 1282 2935
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(217): View more from Illinois

I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.

Fav 10 1267 2119
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(616): View more from Michigan

After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.

Fav 1 754 345
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(602): View more from Arizona

How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.

Fav 0 41 17
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT