Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born

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  (313): Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born http://tfl.nu/de9t
  Replies (17) Good night (1819) Bad night (871)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything

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  (815): yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything http://tfl.nu/8gpe
  Replies (14) Good night (4368) Bad night (837)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?

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  (908): Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable? http://tfl.nu/mn26
  Replies (7) Good night (4013) Bad night (528)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.

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  (401): I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on. http://tfl.nu/shul
  Replies (22) Good night (4576) Bad night (1164)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this

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  (604): fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this http://tfl.nu/yh2h
  Replies (10) Good night (4813) Bad night (1234)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.

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  (+44): I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk. http://tfl.nu/9idz
  Replies (22) Good night (3052) Bad night (1137)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...

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  (512): I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night... http://tfl.nu/5pml
  Replies (15) Good night (1348) Bad night (3551)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.

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  (303): Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking. http://tfl.nu/1gdj
  Replies (3) Good night (1859) Bad night (651)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.

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  (720): Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad. http://tfl.nu/6s4w
  Replies (4) Good night (605) Bad night (1018)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.

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  (630): Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago. http://tfl.nu/3f70
  Replies (5) Good night (3262) Bad night (699)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.

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  (803): I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me. http://tfl.nu/en2s
  Replies (2) Good night (1354) Bad night (451)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement

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  (330): I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement http://tfl.nu/yzu8
  Replies (1) Good night (521) Bad night (870)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.

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  (202): Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact. http://tfl.nu/fdj2
  Replies (3) Good night (504) Bad night (372)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.

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  (623): At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside. http://tfl.nu/tt6u
  Replies (7) Good night (903) Bad night (450)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?

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  (386): I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher? http://tfl.nu/eehc
  Replies (3) Good night (1037) Bad night (328)

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