Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night

  (303): View more from Colorado

  lol who won

  (727): View more from Florida

  well im in the hospital right now so u tell me

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  (727): im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night (303): lol who won (727): well im in the hospital right now so u tell me http://tfl.nu/pmtb
  Replies (15) Good night (1679) Bad night (1027)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?

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  (973): On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now? http://tfl.nu/9ud5
  Replies (57) Good night (3108) Bad night (927)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death

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  (312): office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death http://tfl.nu/9uva
  Replies (5) Good night (1114) Bad night (1502)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac

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  (206): alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac http://tfl.nu/kfdr
  Replies (5) Good night (3177) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.

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  (310): someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos. http://tfl.nu/nyr8
  Replies (16) Good night (1378) Bad night (6102)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.

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  (303): I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet. http://tfl.nu/l0f7
  Replies (14) Good night (983) Bad night (3819)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me

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  (215): I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me http://tfl.nu/08l6
  Replies (16) Good night (1402) Bad night (3698)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.

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  (215): after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values. http://tfl.nu/kv5s
  Replies (50) Good night (2262) Bad night (3315)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Why am I even shocked you're doing this....

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  (774): Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n (617): Why am I even shocked you're doing this.... http://tfl.nu/y7yp
  Replies (11) Good night (6347) Bad night (1225)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.

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  (330): Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum. http://tfl.nu/36en
  Replies (9) Good night (1563) Bad night (799)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.

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  (440): You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage. http://tfl.nu/sj4s
  Replies (9) Good night (1067) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes

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  (216): Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes http://tfl.nu/70ll
  Replies (6) Good night (930) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.

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  (920): I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope. http://tfl.nu/g0eb
  Replies (3) Good night (373) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?

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  (631): My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right? http://tfl.nu/9a0f
  Replies (1) Good night (698) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!

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  (417): I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral! http://tfl.nu/xq5a
  Replies (6) Good night (213) Bad night (290)

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