I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea