He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN