Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??

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  (603): Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame?? http://tfl.nu/gyhi
  Replies (15) Good night (4705) Bad night (552)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Emoooo

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  (317): It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups. (1-317): Emoooo http://tfl.nu/8g06
  Replies (10) Good night (944) Bad night (2415)
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  (718): View more from New York

  you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out

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  (718): you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out http://tfl.nu/3q0w
  Replies (18) Good night (5389) Bad night (976)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest

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  (815): Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest http://tfl.nu/qjdf
  Replies (12) Good night (4458) Bad night (770)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!

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  (903): How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?! http://tfl.nu/tpho
  Replies (19) Good night (1232) Bad night (2436)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?

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  (443): Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version? http://tfl.nu/d18m
  Replies (5) Good night (1788) Bad night (637)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek

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  (864): I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek http://tfl.nu/7b27
  Replies (5) Good night (957) Bad night (1241)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.

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  (210): I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful. http://tfl.nu/5n8j
  Replies (7) Good night (1989) Bad night (881)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.

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  (904): The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party. http://tfl.nu/d07s
  Replies (12) Good night (1362) Bad night (614)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight

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  (616): Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight http://tfl.nu/1hmk
  Replies (3) Good night (986) Bad night (495)
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  (415): View more from California

  The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!

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  (415): The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco! http://tfl.nu/lulq
  Replies (5) Good night (1497) Bad night (568)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th

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  (201): I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th http://tfl.nu/okx6
  Replies (4) Good night (1753) Bad night (475)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here

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  (319): Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here http://tfl.nu/2efd
  Replies (3) Good night (504) Bad night (1062)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.

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  (505): We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it. http://tfl.nu/o399
  Replies (4) Good night (1084) Bad night (379)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard

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  (843): I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard http://tfl.nu/pmd0
  Replies (2) Good night (701) Bad night (351)

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