Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
