What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
