My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
