I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
