went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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