and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
