real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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