also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
