You don't have asthma, your pregnant
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
