The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
