oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
