Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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