Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Randomize
