Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
