Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I would ride that face into the sunset
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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