My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
