Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The air was thick with penises
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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