The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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