no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
