I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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