ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
