Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
