I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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