I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My vagina just recognized that song.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your pants in the freezer?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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