Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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