At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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