We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize