sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
