Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
