well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
