I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
