Im at strip club and am horny
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm always down for nudity.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
