Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
