I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
And then my night got REAL pukey
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
