i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
