new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
